ManicInsomniac

"Well, ok. Not like I'm in a position to judge your food habits."

The Bard of Bean Doom is the only human character in LOHAE, providing exposition to the player concerning their basic objective and the origins of the game. She also owns the shop, where she sells you seeds and music, and buys your fruit... And whatever else you may have to sell her. Please don't sell back her music. It makes the Bean Bard sad.

Buying
"Disclaimer: I am not responsible for disease, mutilation, or death that may cause from misuse of the fruit."

MI will sell seeds throughout the game. The seeds she sells and their tree types can be viewed by clicking on them. Though purchasing a seed from her will make it disappear from the list of avaliable fruits, simply visiting the page again (either by refreshing or clicking another page and returning) will restock the seeds. Her stock does not change upon leaving the page, although her selection will update periodically with a new line-up of seeds every now and again.

Selling
"Dammit, I was hoping for apples." The player also has the option to sell their unwanted fruits to MI in exchange for some cash to buy more stuff. They have the option of either Selling a single fruit, selling all of that kind of fruit, or selling all but one of that kind of fruit. Note that the game considers fruits with unique parents separate from regular fruits, so if you had two apples with a tall tree parent and another, identical apple with tall tree and small shrub parents, sell all would only sell one of the two groups, depending on which one you chose. It seems complicated, but you’ll get the hang of it.

Music
"I spent a lot of time on this one, hope you like it!"

The player can buy several songs from the store, all written by the Bard of Doom herself. The player can use them on the main page to change the current BG song.

Flow On - $413 (Owned by Default)
"Perfect to grow trees to."

Ares Scordatura - $413
"For a slightly an ever so slightly more energetic gardening experience."

Noirsong - $413
"A cool buildup of a song for the discerning gardener."

Sapphire Spires - $413
"Recovered from deep within the bowels of the earth in a cave where they have forgotten what light is. Perfect to shop to."

Vethrfolnrir - $612
"Wow. This song is WAY too angry to garden to. Why is this even in here???"

Splinters of Royalty - $413
"A primal song, something that came before. Full warning: Contains techno."

Tools
In addition to selling restockable fruits, MI also sells a small assortment of one time purchase utilities that aid the player in their tree planting duties:

Shogun’s Axe - $1
Allows the player to chop down any trees that are currently growing.

Helping Hand Plus Ultra - $333
It’s basically an upgrade to your regular hand that automatically picks all fruit from a single tree. Pretty convenient!

Flashlight - ???
After playing a bit of LOHAE, you may notice the Bean Bard has stocked their shop with a flashlight. I mean, I guess you could buy it, if you really wanted to. But what use does it serve for gardening?

FAQ
In addition to running the shop, MI also provides FAQs for the player. Though the page mainly serves to answer basic questions the player might have, purchasing a song from her also adds a FAQ explaining the origins and inspiration behind said song. Pretty neat.

Trivia

 * The Layout of the Shop itself is an refrance to another Bard with another Shop.
 * The Shop is inside the skaian magicant (see glitch faq) hence the glitchy edges and non-fitting decor.
 * LOHAE is one of the first major sims on the site where someone other than jR appears and provides exposition for the player, with MI being the one to take that role instead.
 * A single consort can always be seen behind the Bard’s shop.
 * What kind of session is that Bard from?